The Lord said to him,... "Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say."
If you'll excuse me, I'm having a Moses Moment. See, my husband (who I admire and love with all my heart, by the way) recently challenged me to go WAY outside my comfort zone. I'm talking Twilight Zone. To infinity and beyond. He said I should start a blog. I am all for bloggers. Nothing but respect for them. I just don't believe I am one. It all started with an Aha Moment that God hit me with in the garden one day (man, I love those moments), and it sort of...escalated from there. I wrote out my version of the account and e-mailed it to my husband, mainly because I felt like I needed to share it with someone, and then he gets this crazy idea that I need to share it with MORE someones. "There is somebody out there that needs to hear those words, and maybe they need to hear it in just the way you said it so it will resonate with them." Dang, he's got a point. I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard a devotion, study, or sermon that just stuck with me, and even though I had heard the message before, something about the way that person illustrated it just clicked. (Hello, can we say GOD THING??) I am currently doing a bible study that has me in the book of Exodus (go figure), and I am led back to the account of Moses. I realized that I found myself spouting out all the same arguments Moses was giving when God called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt: 1) Who am I to write words worth listening to? I'm no one special. (Exodus 3:11 But Moses asked God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?")
2) What if no one reads it, or they DO read it and say it's no good? (Exodus 4:1 Moses answered, "What if they won't believe me and will not obey me but say, 'The Lord did not appear to you'?")
3) But I don't write nearly as well as the fifty million other bloggers out there who are PROFESSIONALS! (Exodus 4:10 But Moses replied to the Lord, "Please Lord, I have never been eloquent...because my mouth and tongue are sluggish.") Wow. Um....it seems when it comes to my adamant resistance to do God's work, well,....He's heard it all before. So now I'm led to reflect on God's answers to Moses' excuses (because at this point, I'm reluctantly admitting that's all they are): 1) Who am I to write words worth listening to? I'm no one special. (Exodus 3:12 He (GOD) answered, "I will certainly be with you...")
2) What if no one reads it, or they DO read it and say it's no good? (God performs signs through Moses. Exodus 4:5 "This will take place," He continued, "so that they will believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has appeared to you.") 3) But I don't write nearly as well as the fifty million other bloggers out there who are PROFESSIONALS! (Exodus 4:11-12 The Lord said to him, "Who placed a mouth on humans? Who makes a person mute or deaf, seeing or blind? is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.") Well, folks, I can't argue with that! I love that in every instance, no matter what excuse Moses would throw God's way, God would hit it right out of the park with an assurance that He will be there. "I will be with you." "I have appeared to you." "I will help you." It seems like if I abandon what I can or can't do, and what others will say about my performance, and let God call the shots, that will give Him the room He needs to use me to help someone else. Wow. That's big! So, here I am, stepping WAY out of my comfort zone, becoming a somewhat reluctant blogger, in the hopes that God will use this hot mess for HIS glory. Maybe God's word in the form of my ramblings will help someone through a tough day or circumstance down the line. Maybe help someone remember that God loves them, that He is Emmanuel, God With Us, and that hey girl, you're not alone, we are all just hot messes together! And even if I have a readership of just one (sheesh, I hope it's my husband!), I can rest in the peace of knowing that I'm chugging my little engine up the hill, meager though it may be, just trying to be who God wants me to be. I like to think He's happy that I'm trying. And that'll be good enough for me.